Yeah, okay. Not after what I saw. Mine isn't either, okay? Mine is definitely not good, but there's nothing wrong with that. I get it, more than you think. For a while before I took the dip, I thought I could always hear the laugh of the bastard who killed me.
On the island? Absolutely sure I thought he was in the jungle with me when it was messing with my head.
[ he still looks defensive and tense like having ptsd symptoms is a WEAKNESS. it's fine cloud! it's not just ptsd! it's also the alien genes inside you AND the radiation poisoning. he won't like that any better when he finds out.
but despite looking like a bundle of frowny nerves while jason talks, he does... relax a little. he doesn't like acknowledging that there's anything wrong with him, still feels a bit like being in denial or at least not sharing it so obviously, but it's... less terrible knowing jason's been through similar. ]
... Aquarius said something about... dissociation. Don't think they were talking about more than just the trial, but it's...
[ MOVING ON IMMEDIATELY WOW ]
He's back alive. And I know he can get inside my head. [ that is the only way to explain winding up in some kind of weird outer space mid battle. look. this is his only defense to being called crazy right now. even though jason is doing the opposite of that. ] Something new from coming back on his part, I guess.
[Why are Aquarius, him, and Cloud just holding hands in similar understandings. Hate that.
His lips thin a little. He thinks about commenting, but Cloud moves on, so he allows this to happen. It's fine. Explain the dissociation.]
Well... [He pauses for a second to try to figure out what the wants to say since he doesn't know the whole picture.] You said you got pumped up with planet juice, right? He did too. If... it's a part of the planet, if it's in you both, then...
The theory makes sense at least, Cloud. That the two of you might have more in common than you think. Than only being SOLDIERs.
[Like in the version where he got dunked in the Pit WHILE Ra's was in it. Very fun.]
[ no explanation only moving on. ra's and jason holding hands is bad and i had forgotten that version. i hate comics. cloud shakes his head but it's not in disagreement, it's in budding headache.
he would rather not have anything in common with sephiroth, but. ]
Maybe. He's the blueprint. [ it's said a little distantly ] For SOLDIERs. They called him the first.
[ he doesn't know how to explain that he also thinks there's some insane destiny magic bullshit in play, because he doesn't even understand half of that. he wants to stop talking about this actually and he is just going to look down at the karaoke machine like it's its fault for having sparkling dust in it ]
[Well, he definitely doesn't like the idea of this in retrospect of everything he's heard Cloud say and seen. Not sure if it should be his business to discuss, though. He follows Cloud's look down at the karaoke machine.
He also looks at it like it's its fault for having sparkling dust on it.]
Guess this is where you tell me that we should separate for the week to keep us from having to get a divorce.
[PHRASING, CLOUD.] Ow. Please. [He looks exasperated and shoves at the elbow.]
Seriously, though. It's up to you. The Pit wasn't so bad... but some of the ones that's been, uh--tossed out--aren't so great. So I'd get it if you'd rather avoid it.
... Honestly, if it was up to me, I'd be avoiding everyone here all week. But we both know it's not that easy. We're all going to be stuck somewhere for nine hours this weekend. Might get an entire dust storm the whole time if we avoided it too much and ruined the entertainment.
[ he shakes his head ]
I'm not about to seek you out to share more, but... There's no point dodging. This'll happen no matter what we try. Might as well hope it happens in private instead.
[About being stuck in a nine hour trial with, like, thirty-something other people with this fucking stardust going off and on all the time.]
That's fine and all with me, but what do you plan to do if Lup tries to make us cuddle again? [It's mostly a joke, just with the honesty of them in a shitty feedback loop of trauma.] Not sure if she'd be up to it, though, if today was anything to go by.
[She has a lot of those. He doesn't know this, but he can very accurately assume she does based on... literally everything heard about the station, and also the last memory? Yeah, bad.
He frowns and also blames the karaoke machine for this. Lup's men are stupid.]
I've seen some weird shit with tentacles, but that one really takes the cake. [ cloud: jenova? fine. a furby? FUCKING weird. ] ... I don't know if the stupid dust things still affect us when we're on our own. But in her case, she'd probably rather not be if it does.
[ this is cloud saying they will end up cuddling again he can feel it ]
He suddenly bursts into laughter, but it’s, like, when you snort through your tongue and teeth because you are trying real hard NOT to laugh so obviously.
But then it rolls into a full, gentle cackle, and he covers his mouth with his fist.]
[ he looks so offended still, crossing his arms and letting jason laugh ]
Shut up. [ more wry than flustered, because. y'know. he knew this would happen when he said it. he is not stupid ] The hell do you think it says about you, huh?
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Yeah, okay. Not after what I saw. Mine isn't either, okay? Mine is definitely not good, but there's nothing wrong with that. I get it, more than you think. For a while before I took the dip, I thought I could always hear the laugh of the bastard who killed me.
On the island? Absolutely sure I thought he was in the jungle with me when it was messing with my head.
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but despite looking like a bundle of frowny nerves while jason talks, he does... relax a little. he doesn't like acknowledging that there's anything wrong with him, still feels a bit like being in denial or at least not sharing it so obviously, but it's... less terrible knowing jason's been through similar. ]
... Aquarius said something about... dissociation. Don't think they were talking about more than just the trial, but it's...
[ MOVING ON IMMEDIATELY WOW ]
He's back alive. And I know he can get inside my head. [ that is the only way to explain winding up in some kind of weird outer space mid battle. look. this is his only defense to being called crazy right now. even though jason is doing the opposite of that. ] Something new from coming back on his part, I guess.
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His lips thin a little. He thinks about commenting, but Cloud moves on, so he allows this to happen. It's fine. Explain the dissociation.]
Well... [He pauses for a second to try to figure out what the wants to say since he doesn't know the whole picture.] You said you got pumped up with planet juice, right? He did too. If... it's a part of the planet, if it's in you both, then...
The theory makes sense at least, Cloud. That the two of you might have more in common than you think. Than only being SOLDIERs.
[Like in the version where he got dunked in the Pit WHILE Ra's was in it. Very fun.]
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he would rather not have anything in common with sephiroth, but. ]
Maybe. He's the blueprint. [ it's said a little distantly ] For SOLDIERs. They called him the first.
[ he doesn't know how to explain that he also thinks there's some insane destiny magic bullshit in play, because he doesn't even understand half of that. he wants to stop talking about this actually and he is just going to look down at the karaoke machine like it's its fault for having sparkling dust in it ]
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He also looks at it like it's its fault for having sparkling dust on it.]
Guess this is where you tell me that we should separate for the week to keep us from having to get a divorce.
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We've already slept together, do we have to be married too?
[ he is aware of the phrasing. ]
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Seriously, though. It's up to you. The Pit wasn't so bad... but some of the ones that's been, uh--tossed out--aren't so great. So I'd get it if you'd rather avoid it.
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[ he shakes his head ]
I'm not about to seek you out to share more, but... There's no point dodging. This'll happen no matter what we try. Might as well hope it happens in private instead.
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[About being stuck in a nine hour trial with, like, thirty-something other people with this fucking stardust going off and on all the time.]
That's fine and all with me, but what do you plan to do if Lup tries to make us cuddle again? [It's mostly a joke, just with the honesty of them in a shitty feedback loop of trauma.] Not sure if she'd be up to it, though, if today was anything to go by.
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... You ran into her with one of these today already, too?
[ well, too isn't that surprising for cloud. they share a bathroom. ]
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...Yeah.
[He glances away, then reaches up to rub his forehead with the tips of a few fingers.]
Got one about the horror station she was in. Not a good one.
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[ he's looking away with a frown. the karaoke machine is also to blame for that, he's decided by the glare. ]
Guess we're not the only two haunted by assholes. Hers is just... a lot weirder looking.
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[She has a lot of those. He doesn't know this, but he can very accurately assume she does based on... literally everything heard about the station, and also the last memory? Yeah, bad.
He frowns and also blames the karaoke machine for this. Lup's men are stupid.]
A hell of a lot weirder. And has tentacles.
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[ this is cloud saying they will end up cuddling again he can feel it ]
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I know. She does always make sure to tell us not to leave her alone.
[This is joking, but it’s clear he has a sliver of seriousness to it. Like… he understands maybe a tiny, tiny portion of why Lup may be this way.
Also, yeah, they are going to end up cuddling again because Lup is here.]
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[ it's a fake gripe. but also, a real question. lup, your taste. they are completely owned and will just. go with it but STILL ]
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[The length of time is more for Cloud is what point he is trying to make here.]
I guess we’re just her type. Not sure what that says about the two of us actually.
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[ you cannot blame him for that, because jason doesn't icly know they sort of dated in redacted. but he pauses, because. actually: ]
She called me an "awkward nerd" and said she liked those.
[ HE SOUNDS SO OFFENDED ]
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He suddenly bursts into laughter, but it’s, like, when you snort through your tongue and teeth because you are trying real hard NOT to laugh so obviously.
But then it rolls into a full, gentle cackle, and he covers his mouth with his fist.]
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Shut up. [ more wry than flustered, because. y'know. he knew this would happen when he said it. he is not stupid ] The hell do you think it says about you, huh?
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--Wait. Does she think I'm a nerd?
[HOLD ON A MINUTE HERE]
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Oh, come on, I'm not a nerd! [He is a nerd. He also reads.] Tim is the nerd. I'm...
[Struggling to find something to describe himself with that's a dunk but also not a lie but also not terrible.]
...The meat.
[The muscle. But phrasing.]
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You think she likes you because you're "the meat"? [ he's clearly. amused here. ] You sure you're not awkward?
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[This is said in the exact same wry way Cloud delivered his a few minutes ago.]
She probably likes me because she can get me to carry her wherever she wants to go like a horse and buggy.
[It's funny that they can have a little trauma moment and then immediately go right back to complaining about Lup.]
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