[Jason understands this maybe more than anyone, so he lets Cloud go pretty quick, hand up, when the guy straightens again.]
Me either. Did these happen before with you? Glad everyone else got the memo. I sure as hell never had this happen on the island. Gotta say. Not a fan.
I didn't think other people did, too. [ he had not... considered it? sorry jason. he does almost sound apologetic about it, too. damn. ] Realm was all about memories. Losing or gaining them. By the time we got to something like this, people were seeing memories they couldn't even remember properly. Us "Leaders" the most out of anyone. We spent the entire game without any memory of who we were.
[ there's a long pause ]
... Lot different sharing these remembering the context.
He frowns at the explanation of the Realm. Yeah. Also not a fan? Of that. Then again, maybe he'd take the seeing without knowing the context if it spared him from--
His mouth is open, but it snaps shut the instant he sees the stardust. He can't believe it has a warning, but the warning doesn't last long enough to do anything about it.] Look out! [He grabs Cloud by the arm and tries to, like, lightly toss him out of the way as if that's going to fucking do shit all.
Cloud can enjoy being water birthed in very questionable green juice, as if he hasn't had enough of that kinda stuff.]
Jason-- [ it's all he get to do from the warning, that surprised shout, and then he's stumbling a little, first from jason grabbing at him again when he doesn't expect it, and then from the weight of that memory. Because-- Jason wasn't wrong, when he compared the pit to mako. The oppression. Losing himself. Images and feelings instead of being able to exist normally, memories scattered and broken.
And obviously that would be all well and good except Cloud does not really remember any of those parts, and any attempt at remembering any of that usually leaves him with flashes of green and a splitting pain in his head at best. Mild hallucinations at worst.
Sooo. the good news is it looks like only a headache, because they come out and cloud's grasping at his head and hissing again, trying to identify which part of him is himself and which part is jason. sorry jay. nothing personal. he has identity issues. ]
... Was that... The pit you talked about? [ it's rasped after what feels like forever to him but can't be more than ten seconds, considering he's still holding on to his head. if he didn't know who batman was this would've been even more confusing. ] ...You weren't kidding. It sucks.
[Well, not the first and probably not the last time Jason reaches back out to put a hand on Cloud's shoulder to hold him up. And, like, also to hold himself up because whew.
He's an angry guy, but he hasn't felt unbridled rage like that in a while. The almost untethered, psychotic rage. Tunnel vision rage.]
Yeah, that was it. And, yeah... it does. My scrambled egg brain got cooked. Turned me into a tool like mako turned you into a SOLDIER, I guess.
[ it's fine they can hold each other up. because [anna voice: don't say it] they are best friends uwu
cloud's felt that tunnel vision rage not that long ago, he thinks. it's kind of reflexive to seeing sephiroth. ]
SOLDIERs are just another tool for Shinra. So, same difference. [ potAYto, poTAHto. he shakes the last remnants of his headache off to look up at jason with a small frown ] What'd the woman who did that to you want with you?
[ because if it was turning him into a tool, someone had to use it. ]
[STOP DAMNIT THEY HAVE TRAUMA they can be friends in this ONE moment that’s it.]
Don’t bond with me over being a tool for someone else, I don’t like it.
[😔 Help them.]
What does anyone back home want? Mostly Batman. Ran into her when I was a kid running with a gang. Watched her butcher the leader. She taught me a little trick. I guess she remembers being impressed, thought she could make me one of her crew.
So she dunked me and handed me over to her League to learn to be an assassin. I didn’t like their methodology.
[ the bonding. yes. but the frown on cloud's face as jason talks only gets deeper, because can ANYONE in gotham NOT look at a child and go "i am going to make this kid into a super cool child soldier". the answer is no but he has some qualms about it okay ]
The methodology of an organized assassin group? Yeah, I'd bet. [ :T ] How'd you get away from them?
[Cloud has no room to talk, he didn't even have any peach fuzz when he was trying to be a SOLDIER. That almost counts as a child. He was a baby. They are BOTH still BABIES.]
Yeah. I wanted justice, and they only wanted to follow a selfish creed. We didn't click. [He will not say this is the Bat in him still.] Believe it or not, kind of just walked away.
Not on great terms, but I supposed even vigilantes and assassins have honor codes about not slinging around the dirt on each other. Besides, Talia had a son she could try to mold into her perfect little killer by then anyway. She didn't need to waste time reforming a has-been like me when she could start from the ground up.
[...]
You ever find her? Your friend and the girl. Marlene.
[ comparing gotham to ff7's crapsack world does not make it sound less terrible
cloud's still frowning, but he figures jason wants to drop the subject with that change, so he lets it happen. but also, yikes. jason your shitty adult figures. ]
... Yeah. Marlene was safe. Aerith managed to bring her to safety before she got taken. [ he looks away a little ] We got her out of that, and apparently right into being stuck here alongside me.
[Stop, he was just making sure Cloud didn't get away with not talking about his own. Also, sue him, dammit. He gives a little of a shit whether or not Cloud and the other two ended up getting back in touch with Aerith and Marlene. SHUT UP.]
Hey. [He sort of gives Cloud's shoulder a reassuring jostle.] It'll work out.
We've got a few more weeks to go, just hang on. If you get desperate, I already told Lup you could stick it to me. But she yelled at me for it, so.
[ they are best friends jason is so nice. too bad for him cloud will dodge his own memories forever, thank you!!! he nods at the reassuring, but the unimpressed look he gives jason at the joke is Very Real ]
Only person I'm planning to stick it to is the Nightman. [ please do not underestimate how stubborn he is. killing and bringing him back just made him SPITEFUL. i'm sure jason cannot relate to that. ] Besides, you keep offering it to everyone, I'm gonna have to get in line. Not interested.
Yeah, okay. Not after what I saw. Mine isn't either, okay? Mine is definitely not good, but there's nothing wrong with that. I get it, more than you think. For a while before I took the dip, I thought I could always hear the laugh of the bastard who killed me.
On the island? Absolutely sure I thought he was in the jungle with me when it was messing with my head.
[ he still looks defensive and tense like having ptsd symptoms is a WEAKNESS. it's fine cloud! it's not just ptsd! it's also the alien genes inside you AND the radiation poisoning. he won't like that any better when he finds out.
but despite looking like a bundle of frowny nerves while jason talks, he does... relax a little. he doesn't like acknowledging that there's anything wrong with him, still feels a bit like being in denial or at least not sharing it so obviously, but it's... less terrible knowing jason's been through similar. ]
... Aquarius said something about... dissociation. Don't think they were talking about more than just the trial, but it's...
[ MOVING ON IMMEDIATELY WOW ]
He's back alive. And I know he can get inside my head. [ that is the only way to explain winding up in some kind of weird outer space mid battle. look. this is his only defense to being called crazy right now. even though jason is doing the opposite of that. ] Something new from coming back on his part, I guess.
[Why are Aquarius, him, and Cloud just holding hands in similar understandings. Hate that.
His lips thin a little. He thinks about commenting, but Cloud moves on, so he allows this to happen. It's fine. Explain the dissociation.]
Well... [He pauses for a second to try to figure out what the wants to say since he doesn't know the whole picture.] You said you got pumped up with planet juice, right? He did too. If... it's a part of the planet, if it's in you both, then...
The theory makes sense at least, Cloud. That the two of you might have more in common than you think. Than only being SOLDIERs.
[Like in the version where he got dunked in the Pit WHILE Ra's was in it. Very fun.]
[ no explanation only moving on. ra's and jason holding hands is bad and i had forgotten that version. i hate comics. cloud shakes his head but it's not in disagreement, it's in budding headache.
he would rather not have anything in common with sephiroth, but. ]
Maybe. He's the blueprint. [ it's said a little distantly ] For SOLDIERs. They called him the first.
[ he doesn't know how to explain that he also thinks there's some insane destiny magic bullshit in play, because he doesn't even understand half of that. he wants to stop talking about this actually and he is just going to look down at the karaoke machine like it's its fault for having sparkling dust in it ]
[Well, he definitely doesn't like the idea of this in retrospect of everything he's heard Cloud say and seen. Not sure if it should be his business to discuss, though. He follows Cloud's look down at the karaoke machine.
He also looks at it like it's its fault for having sparkling dust on it.]
Guess this is where you tell me that we should separate for the week to keep us from having to get a divorce.
[PHRASING, CLOUD.] Ow. Please. [He looks exasperated and shoves at the elbow.]
Seriously, though. It's up to you. The Pit wasn't so bad... but some of the ones that's been, uh--tossed out--aren't so great. So I'd get it if you'd rather avoid it.
... Honestly, if it was up to me, I'd be avoiding everyone here all week. But we both know it's not that easy. We're all going to be stuck somewhere for nine hours this weekend. Might get an entire dust storm the whole time if we avoided it too much and ruined the entertainment.
[ he shakes his head ]
I'm not about to seek you out to share more, but... There's no point dodging. This'll happen no matter what we try. Might as well hope it happens in private instead.
[About being stuck in a nine hour trial with, like, thirty-something other people with this fucking stardust going off and on all the time.]
That's fine and all with me, but what do you plan to do if Lup tries to make us cuddle again? [It's mostly a joke, just with the honesty of them in a shitty feedback loop of trauma.] Not sure if she'd be up to it, though, if today was anything to go by.
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Me either. Did these happen before with you? Glad everyone else got the memo. I sure as hell never had this happen on the island. Gotta say. Not a fan.
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[ there's a long pause ]
... Lot different sharing these remembering the context.
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[GOD.
He frowns at the explanation of the Realm. Yeah. Also not a fan? Of that. Then again, maybe he'd take the seeing without knowing the context if it spared him from--
His mouth is open, but it snaps shut the instant he sees the stardust. He can't believe it has a warning, but the warning doesn't last long enough to do anything about it.] Look out! [He grabs Cloud by the arm and tries to, like, lightly toss him out of the way as if that's going to fucking do shit all.
Cloud can enjoy being water birthed in very questionable green juice, as if he hasn't had enough of that kinda stuff.]
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And obviously that would be all well and good except Cloud does not really remember any of those parts, and any attempt at remembering any of that usually leaves him with flashes of green and a splitting pain in his head at best. Mild hallucinations at worst.
Sooo. the good news is it looks like only a headache, because they come out and cloud's grasping at his head and hissing again, trying to identify which part of him is himself and which part is jason. sorry jay. nothing personal. he has identity issues. ]
... Was that... The pit you talked about? [ it's rasped after what feels like forever to him but can't be more than ten seconds, considering he's still holding on to his head. if he didn't know who batman was this would've been even more confusing. ] ...You weren't kidding. It sucks.
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He's an angry guy, but he hasn't felt unbridled rage like that in a while. The almost untethered, psychotic rage. Tunnel vision rage.]
Yeah, that was it. And, yeah... it does. My scrambled egg brain got cooked. Turned me into a tool like mako turned you into a SOLDIER, I guess.
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cloud's felt that tunnel vision rage not that long ago, he thinks. it's kind of reflexive to seeing sephiroth. ]
SOLDIERs are just another tool for Shinra. So, same difference. [ potAYto, poTAHto. he shakes the last remnants of his headache off to look up at jason with a small frown ] What'd the woman who did that to you want with you?
[ because if it was turning him into a tool, someone had to use it. ]
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Don’t bond with me over being a tool for someone else, I don’t like it.
[😔 Help them.]
What does anyone back home want? Mostly Batman. Ran into her when I was a kid running with a gang. Watched her butcher the leader. She taught me a little trick. I guess she remembers being impressed, thought she could make me one of her crew.
So she dunked me and handed me over to her League to learn to be an assassin. I didn’t like their methodology.
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[ the bonding. yes. but the frown on cloud's face as jason talks only gets deeper, because can ANYONE in gotham NOT look at a child and go "i am going to make this kid into a super cool child soldier". the answer is no but he has some qualms about it okay ]
The methodology of an organized assassin group? Yeah, I'd bet. [ :T ] How'd you get away from them?
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Yeah. I wanted justice, and they only wanted to follow a selfish creed. We didn't click. [He will not say this is the Bat in him still.] Believe it or not, kind of just walked away.
Not on great terms, but I supposed even vigilantes and assassins have honor codes about not slinging around the dirt on each other. Besides, Talia had a son she could try to mold into her perfect little killer by then anyway. She didn't need to waste time reforming a has-been like me when she could start from the ground up.
[...]
You ever find her? Your friend and the girl. Marlene.
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cloud's still frowning, but he figures jason wants to drop the subject with that change, so he lets it happen. but also, yikes. jason your shitty adult figures. ]
... Yeah. Marlene was safe. Aerith managed to bring her to safety before she got taken. [ he looks away a little ] We got her out of that, and apparently right into being stuck here alongside me.
[ HE HATES THIS PLACE ]
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Hey. [He sort of gives Cloud's shoulder a reassuring jostle.] It'll work out.
We've got a few more weeks to go, just hang on. If you get desperate, I already told Lup you could stick it to me. But she yelled at me for it, so.
[a joke]
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Only person I'm planning to stick it to is the Nightman. [ please do not underestimate how stubborn he is. killing and bringing him back just made him SPITEFUL. i'm sure jason cannot relate to that. ] Besides, you keep offering it to everyone, I'm gonna have to get in line. Not interested.
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Alright, jackass. Your head is already a box of Froot Loops, don't make me hit it, or I'll feel bad.
[He would not pop Cloud right now anyway. Also, he will not confirm or deny whether he relates to crawling out of the grave vengeful...]
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[ DEFENSIVE!!! jason just saw him legitimately hallucinate sephiroth but it's fine ]
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Yeah, okay. Not after what I saw. Mine isn't either, okay? Mine is definitely not good, but there's nothing wrong with that. I get it, more than you think. For a while before I took the dip, I thought I could always hear the laugh of the bastard who killed me.
On the island? Absolutely sure I thought he was in the jungle with me when it was messing with my head.
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but despite looking like a bundle of frowny nerves while jason talks, he does... relax a little. he doesn't like acknowledging that there's anything wrong with him, still feels a bit like being in denial or at least not sharing it so obviously, but it's... less terrible knowing jason's been through similar. ]
... Aquarius said something about... dissociation. Don't think they were talking about more than just the trial, but it's...
[ MOVING ON IMMEDIATELY WOW ]
He's back alive. And I know he can get inside my head. [ that is the only way to explain winding up in some kind of weird outer space mid battle. look. this is his only defense to being called crazy right now. even though jason is doing the opposite of that. ] Something new from coming back on his part, I guess.
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His lips thin a little. He thinks about commenting, but Cloud moves on, so he allows this to happen. It's fine. Explain the dissociation.]
Well... [He pauses for a second to try to figure out what the wants to say since he doesn't know the whole picture.] You said you got pumped up with planet juice, right? He did too. If... it's a part of the planet, if it's in you both, then...
The theory makes sense at least, Cloud. That the two of you might have more in common than you think. Than only being SOLDIERs.
[Like in the version where he got dunked in the Pit WHILE Ra's was in it. Very fun.]
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he would rather not have anything in common with sephiroth, but. ]
Maybe. He's the blueprint. [ it's said a little distantly ] For SOLDIERs. They called him the first.
[ he doesn't know how to explain that he also thinks there's some insane destiny magic bullshit in play, because he doesn't even understand half of that. he wants to stop talking about this actually and he is just going to look down at the karaoke machine like it's its fault for having sparkling dust in it ]
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He also looks at it like it's its fault for having sparkling dust on it.]
Guess this is where you tell me that we should separate for the week to keep us from having to get a divorce.
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We've already slept together, do we have to be married too?
[ he is aware of the phrasing. ]
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Seriously, though. It's up to you. The Pit wasn't so bad... but some of the ones that's been, uh--tossed out--aren't so great. So I'd get it if you'd rather avoid it.
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[ he shakes his head ]
I'm not about to seek you out to share more, but... There's no point dodging. This'll happen no matter what we try. Might as well hope it happens in private instead.
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[About being stuck in a nine hour trial with, like, thirty-something other people with this fucking stardust going off and on all the time.]
That's fine and all with me, but what do you plan to do if Lup tries to make us cuddle again? [It's mostly a joke, just with the honesty of them in a shitty feedback loop of trauma.] Not sure if she'd be up to it, though, if today was anything to go by.
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... You ran into her with one of these today already, too?
[ well, too isn't that surprising for cloud. they share a bathroom. ]
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...Yeah.
[He glances away, then reaches up to rub his forehead with the tips of a few fingers.]
Got one about the horror station she was in. Not a good one.
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