rupert

[unrecked]

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[unrecked]

[He can't help but laugh, but it hurts to laugh, so he holds his side and wince-laughs.]

Yeah. Wanna see my sweet bite?

[jasON]

[agleam]

No?! Gross! Also, stop acting like this is a good thing!

[unrecked]

[STOP MAKING HIM LAUGH. All he can do is kind of chuff.]

Look, if I have to get bitten by a shark and die as it drowns me, I can be proud of the scars when I find out I'm alive.

[agleam]

[the concern!! it's back with a vengeance.]

...You died?

[unrecked]

[He sobers just a little, more for Rupert's sake than his own.]

Shark tried to attack Lup. I had to pull her back and toss her toward the shore, so it grabbed me and took me under.

[agleam]

But Lup wasn't...

[ah. no, he gets it after a second.]

I cannot believe you keep trying to act like you aren't a good person.

[unrecked]

[He is RESIGNED, but still petulantly sort of rolls his eyes. He's accepted his fate from Rupert.]

I was a lifeguard! It was my job!

[agleam]

Uh huh. I'm sure you were forced.

[he would sound amused if this were not about Death]

[unrecked]

Maybe I just don't want innocent blood on my hands. That's not how I live my life.

[This is an attempt to deflect, but it just keeps adding points to Rupert's pile.]

[agleam]

Dastardly.

[the teasing is creeping into his voice...]

[unrecked]

Hey. If I wasn't so banged up right now, I'd noogie the top of your head into your brain.

[He is trying! To be mean!]

[agleam]

Absolutely not, I need that.

[still amused, like a brat!!]

[unrecked]

[GIVING HIM A LOOK. Is this karma for all the shit he pulls on everyone else...? Help him.]

[agleam]

Is there a problem?

[little shit]

[unrecked]

I can't believe you would come to a beat-up and frail man [jason] to get on his last nerve.

[This is all delivered so dryly.]

My trauma. My injuries. My mental health. I'm being bullied.

[agleam]

Do you want to talk about it, then?

[which part is he referring to]

[unrecked]

[Yeah?]

Which part?

[agleam]

...Well, I meant the bullying, but all of it now that you mention it.

[unrecked]

You mean after I was a sexy, beach-running lifeguard who got taken out by a shark?

[agleam]

Jason...

[unrecked]

[His turn to be amused.]

I woke up on a dating game show and had three opportunities to figure out which three bachelor contestants behind the curtains were brain scrambled or fake before they got beheaded.

[agleam]

...That's horrible.

[concern once again!!]

[unrecked]

Not as horrible than if I hadn't been able to figure out Yuri wasn't the fake when the other two were Cloud and Sylvain.

[agleam]

I'm glad he didn't get beheaded, but... It must have been hard to go through. That's all I mean.

[unrecked]

[He sort of shrugs. Has he ALREADY compartmentalized all this so he doesn't have to think about it? Maybe...]

We had a lightning round because the skeleton audience didn't like our answer to go back to the hotel.