He presses his lips against Cloud's ear and says something, but he can't speak, so who the fuck knows what he said. Then he leans back. It is clear he is doing this on purpose to fluster Cloud. He looks like he wants to say something, but he doesn't know how without talking because it's complicated.]
[ cloud's looking unamused despite the fluster, because he knows what jason is trying to do!!! it's just unfortunate that it works anyway!!! hell is real ]
... How are you this much of a pain even when you can't talk. [ grumbled ]
[ absolutely heinous that he's cheering up Jason by just being grumpy. heinous and gay.
anyway Jason starts nuzzling to be annoying and cloud reacts exactly like a cat suddenly shown love against its will, squirming and making an offended noise, face scrunched up a little. ]
Jason. [ he could push him off. he considers it. it is ultimately not the most annoying thing jason could be doing so he doesn't and just lets it happen. also like a disgruntled cat. ] Never mind, I do want your voice back, this is worse.
He will not admit that the nuzzling becomes a bit more tender near the end as it stops and he pulls back. All he does is sort of grin smugly at Cloud. Yes. He can be worse when he is lacking the voice. He taps Cloud in the chest.
[He nods. He mouths, Sappy, then looks thoughtful. Return to him his voice, Ursula, he has given up. He digs out the notebook and a pen so he can write instead.]
Said she got scolded. Wouldn't say who. Felt like an asshole because I couldn't talk.
Probably a staff member. [ if she wouldn't say who, he means. the latter is. he pauses, looks away and then back ] I wouldn't worry about it. She said you did something that really reassured her.
[He looks like ?? for a second, and then it dawns on him. His face bunches up, both embarrassed and exasperated. He mouths, ALREADY? very also exasperatedly. IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN, LIKE, HALF AN HOUR PROBABLY.
[It's the only prominent thing in what happened, he absolutely knows that has to be it. And, yes, he is embarrassed enough to sort of flush. He can't believe he peeled back the onion to show Lup a piece of vulnerability, and she immediate ran and blabbed to someone else.
"The someone else was Cloud." TO SOMEONE ELSE.
You just let the cat out of the bag! Oh my God. I'm never showing her anything ever again! He's ranting. Silently. Blessed peace. He starts writing in the notebook.]
[ why was this secret put on him he's in hell learning it and he couldn't even keep it. he hates this. Jason's hiding his face and cloud kind of hovers unsure how to... react? console?? help. ]
It's not...I mean, it's... [ fumbling immediately. ] She didn't tell me what it said or anything?
he reads that and he HAS to resist making a comment about how writing poetry in his spare time is worse than doing it for feelings. it takes a lot but he resists saying it. he just looks at jason with a raised eyebrow that says he is thinking it. ]
... Okay. [ slowly. like Jason is a time bomb ] Well, she liked it. So that's not bad for fucking around.
[STOP. Don't say it. HE COULDN'T THINK OF A GOOD EXCUSE THAT FAST, shut up. He sort of makes a bit of a face. Like, of course she liked it. She's disgusting (fond).
He looks at Cloud for a long moment, then looks away with a sort of twisted, uncertain and begrudging expression. A sigh. He rubs his forehead with two fingers. LUP. He did not want to show Cloud because it didn't feel like Cloud's wheel-house. Which is fine, he gets that.
And also, he was trying to respect how awkward it could make Cloud. He can bully the guy, but there's a line. A boundary with something more serious.
He just holds the notebook out without looking Cloud in the face. The onus is now on Cloud who can take it, or refuse.]
[If Cloud doesn't take this damn thing before he gets cold feet and never opens it again. He sort of just shoves the notebook pointedly and obnoxiously right up under Cloud's nose.
[ cloud leans away with a disgruntled noise before he gets a notebook shoved up his nose. fine!!! fine!!!! he'll take it!!! ... but he still grabs it a little hesitantly to turn and read it.
embarrassing... "He hasn't even read a word of it yet" EMBARRASSING ]
[Cloud should be embarrassed because it's embarrassing. Cloud has to flip back one or two pages, but there is definitely a poem on one.]
two hungers sit crawl churn in the pit of me; insatiable, i feed myself anything else until their soft liquid suns fill my mouth and coat my throat [the next line is added in with an arrow] and burn sweet all the way down. what i wouldn't do to pretend i don't care in a place where this time i can look at the two brightest stars not obscured by the smog of a dirty city.
[ oh no this is even more embarrassing and sincere than he thought it would be...oh nooooo...
he's bright red after he reads it, because if lup hadn't said it was about them cloud is a dumbass who'd have never made the connection fully, and he was already stuck on anyone writing poetry about him, never mind Jason, so this is. so much worse.
he can't look Jason in the eyes when he hands it back, because it's going to haunt him, ]
Um. [ what. is he supposed to say? thanks? i still don't know what you're seeing in me??? this is kind of good but he doesn't like, know jack shit about poetry, actually? oh no he's been silent too long. ] ... It's nice.
He takes the notebook back, feeling and looking just as embarrassed. He immediately tucks the damn thing under one arm. It's fine if Cloud doesn't know what to say because Jason also doesn't know what to say.
He sort of shrugs, then shakes his head dismissively. When will the ground open up....]
[ the ground continues to refuse to open up. it's very rude. cloud's jaw clenches a little as he is trying to think of anything to say about it that doesn't include him perishing until he shakes his head and tugs jason down for a brief kiss.
this is his new solution to all communication problems and it's not a great one but also it sort of works, maybe? sure. ]
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absolutely turning brighter red at that than anything else this convo, ducking his head a little ]
Did you just... [ DID HE JUST KISS IT BETTER cloud is dead ]
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He presses his lips against Cloud's ear and says something, but he can't speak, so who the fuck knows what he said. Then he leans back. It is clear he is doing this on purpose to fluster Cloud. He looks like he wants to say something, but he doesn't know how without talking because it's complicated.]
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... How are you this much of a pain even when you can't talk. [ grumbled ]
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But Cloud makes him laugh.
He wraps his arms around Cloud’s shoulders and starts obnoxiously nuzzling him in the face and head because he can’t use his words to bully.]
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anyway Jason starts nuzzling to be annoying and cloud reacts exactly like a cat suddenly shown love against its will, squirming and making an offended noise, face scrunched up a little. ]
Jason. [ he could push him off. he considers it. it is ultimately not the most annoying thing jason could be doing so he doesn't and just lets it happen. also like a disgruntled cat. ] Never mind, I do want your voice back, this is worse.
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He will not admit that the nuzzling becomes a bit more tender near the end as it stops and he pulls back. All he does is sort of grin smugly at Cloud. Yes. He can be worse when he is lacking the voice. He taps Cloud in the chest.
Then mouths, Lup come see you?]
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he shakes himself out as if being this nuzzled was a chore (yes.) before looking at Jason curiously ]
Yeah, she did. [ he sounds a little embarrassed but; ] She said she'd gone to see you to ask the same thing.
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Said she got scolded. Wouldn't say who. Felt like an asshole because I couldn't talk.
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LUP?!]
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I didn't... [ oh he's embarrassed watching jay be embarrassed this one time because of what it's about, help ] You weren't supposed to know I knew?
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"The someone else was Cloud." TO SOMEONE ELSE.
You just let the cat out of the bag! Oh my God. I'm never showing her anything ever again! He's ranting. Silently. Blessed peace. He starts writing in the notebook.]
Did she tell you? Did she say what it was?
[The desperation here.]
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[ this isn't believable he watched Jason rant silently with wide eyes like "oh no" and now he's answering this with a question mark and a cringe ]
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He raises the notebook, opened, and inserts his face direction in it at the spine. Kill him.]
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It's not...I mean, it's... [ fumbling immediately. ] She didn't tell me what it said or anything?
[ does this help ]
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He peers at Cloud with scrutiny, as if he isn't sure whether to believe this or not. Then he shakes his head dismissively. He writes in the notebook:]
It's nothing. I was just fucking around to kill time.
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he reads that and he HAS to resist making a comment about how writing poetry in his spare time is worse than doing it for feelings. it takes a lot but he resists saying it. he just looks at jason with a raised eyebrow that says he is thinking it. ]
... Okay. [ slowly. like Jason is a time bomb ] Well, she liked it. So that's not bad for fucking around.
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He looks at Cloud for a long moment, then looks away with a sort of twisted, uncertain and begrudging expression. A sigh. He rubs his forehead with two fingers. LUP. He did not want to show Cloud because it didn't feel like Cloud's wheel-house. Which is fine, he gets that.
And also, he was trying to respect how awkward it could make Cloud. He can bully the guy, but there's a line. A boundary with something more serious.
He just holds the notebook out without looking Cloud in the face. The onus is now on Cloud who can take it, or refuse.]
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he frowns, putting his hand over Jason's holding the notebook ]
You don't have to show me if you don't want to. [ completely misinterpreting the gesture, thanks, ]
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Cloud was being so nice to him too.]
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embarrassing... "He hasn't even read a word of it yet" EMBARRASSING ]
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two hungers
sitcrawlchurn in the pit of me;insatiable, i feed myself
anything else
until their soft liquid suns
fill my mouth and coat my throat
[the next line is added in with an arrow]
and burn sweet all the way down.
what i wouldn't do to pretend
i don't care
in a place where
this time
i can look at the two brightest stars
not obscured by the smog of a dirty city.
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he's bright red after he reads it, because if lup hadn't said it was about them cloud is a dumbass who'd have never made the connection fully, and he was already stuck on anyone writing poetry about him, never mind Jason, so this is. so much worse.
he can't look Jason in the eyes when he hands it back, because it's going to haunt him, ]
Um. [ what. is he supposed to say? thanks? i still don't know what you're seeing in me??? this is kind of good but he doesn't like, know jack shit about poetry, actually? oh no he's been silent too long. ] ... It's nice.
[ let the ground swallow them both, actually. ]
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He takes the notebook back, feeling and looking just as embarrassed. He immediately tucks the damn thing under one arm. It's fine if Cloud doesn't know what to say because Jason also doesn't know what to say.
He sort of shrugs, then shakes his head dismissively. When will the ground open up....]
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this is his new solution to all communication problems and it's not a great one but also it sort of works, maybe? sure. ]
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